昨天一个朋友在群里吵吵嚷嚷,说某人背后说他的坏话,要求出来对质,骂骂咧咧,气愤难平。大家都不住的劝他息怒,越劝越火,每个人都不敢再说话。我对此有一些看法。

人生气的时候发脾气,做出一些过激的举动,这是难免的,我们不好谴责,毕竟他心里所受的痛苦比我们深。我倒是很关心那位把流言告诉他的人,不知他/她心里是什么滋味。

很多时候,我们对一些事情有一些不满,一些看法,憋在心里不吐不快,找个相熟的人说一下,抱怨一番,内心快活。这是正常的。因为是小事情,并不值得去找当事人当面争执,说过心里痛快了也就忘了。并不值得再去传播。我相信大多数人说别人坏话都是这种心态,并无恶意。世上没有那么多恶毒的心,况且是你的朋友。再传播出去大可不必。

如果说坏话的人确是恶意中伤别人,这时候你听到了,去告知当事人,为他喊不平,这是不明智的。一是少不得会你也曾附合几句的,再告知别人难免心中有愧,二是别人背后嚼的舌头,经过你又嚼一遍,不是早已无滋无味就是全都是你的唾沫,实在没有再传播的必要。

我相信,大多数传播流言的朋友,其实是怀有好心,希望能对朋友有所帮助。别人说你的缺点,我告诉你,希望你能在别人面前注意一点,免得关系闹僵。出发点都是好的,只是方式有问题。

能听到流言,并传播到当事人那里,说明你对双方都有了解,可能你是双方的朋友。这时候流言的真伪你应该有所判断,流言两端的当事人的性格你也应该有所判断。如果是发牢骚,可以当耳边风;如果是中伤,大可不必多听下去。如果你难辨真伪,可以先心里留意,慢慢做判断。一般等你确认了真伪,流言早就消散得无影踪了。不管怎样,流言不应传播。尤其是让人生气的话,传出去,实在对大家都没有好处。每个人自会判断是否交友不慎,实在不用别人来帮忙的。该拿上台面的早晚会登台,背后的话还是让它永远在背后的好。

古人云:静坐常思己过,闲谈莫论人非。我们不是圣人,做不到”不论人非“,那就试着去不传播“人非”吧。毕竟交友不易,如果两个朋友打起来,你就同时失去他们了。

164 对 “流言传播者”的想法;

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